Beside You in Time: 1867

1867: Matsue, Japan


In the middle of the verdant field that sloped down to the lake shore, Kagome felt something prick at her senses. Trepidation filled her, like seeing someone about to take a nasty tumble down the stairs and being unable to warn them to watch their step. And although not the sickening pull of a shape-shifter, the shade of the maple tree became cold instead of comforting, and she felt the need to pull the collar of her kimono higher. Nothing else moved.

"Kagome-sama? Are you alright?"

The miko's eyes snapped to the woman next to her. "Yes. Sorry, Rin," she said, giving a faint smile. She glanced back towards the lake, where Kikyo was still in the midst of her lesson with the children. The other miko didn't appear troubled, and neither did any of her adopted sons or daughters, all with varying degrees of demon blood and senses to match. That should have been enough to calm her nerves, but Sesshoumaru wouldn't be back for awhile yet. He would be the one to tell her that she was imagining things in that unequivocal tone of his. "It's nothing," she added, mostly for her own benefit.

She studied the smooth surface of Lake Shinji and the large, rambling village that sat on its edge and knew that she was being ridiculous - she and her companions were, by far, the most unusual and potentially dangerous creatures for miles. Kagome shook her head clear and leaned back against the tree trunk, ready to close her eyes again. Rin, however, was still watching her intently. "Everything's fine," she reassured her, keeping her voice strong.

"I'm certain it is," Rin said, but her anxious expression didn't ease.

"Well," said Kagome slowly, "is there something else?"

The younger woman nodded hesitantly, and Kagome got the feeling that Rin had been biting her tongue over this for awhile. "I've been meaning to ask you about Lord Sesshoumaru, Kagome-sama."

The miko sat up, giving the other woman a wary look. "What about him, exactly?"

Rin relaxed a little, allowing a smile. "Not about you and Sesshoumaru-sama," she assured. "I think that Lord Inuyasha gives you enough trouble about that."

"He doesn't give me any trouble. He reserves that for Sesshoumaru," Kagome said, rolling her eyes and leaning back again. She hoped they weren't killing each other instead of getting their work done this afternoon. It had been less problematic than she had expected - especially considering the initial, loud rant Inuyasha had launched into when he'd smelled his brother's scent all over her. But Sesshoumaru had been testy lately, and Inuyasha had exceedingly bad timing with his pointed remarks.

"Which is why I don't want to bother him with this, too," said Rin. "But I need to know if he's still angry with me about my affair with Shippo."

Kagome blinked. "Rin, that was so long ago."

"What does a hundred years matter to Sesshoumaru-sama?" asked Rin. "Has he ever forgotten a slight against him in all your time together?"

The miko nodded. "Alright. Valid point. But Sesshoumaru doesn't hide his anger." She smiled. "He's practically been chatty with you these past couple of weeks. For him, anyway."

Rin let out the breath that she had been holding. "I suppose," she conceded.

"He doesn't discuss his feelings with me either," Kagome said, arching an amused brow. "Still, I'm fairly certain that all he wants is for you to be happy. And aren't you?"

The young woman's hands fell to the slight swell of her stomach as a contented smile graced her lips. "Very much so," she answered with a tenderness that made Kagome's heart twist within her chest. "I guess that I want to know that he understands that I never meant to dishonor him."

"These things happen," the miko said. She'd long given up her own disappointment in Shippo for the affair - he had punished himself enough. It seemed that Rin was no different. "They shouldn't, but they do. I mean, it was incredibly foolish on both of your parts, but you're not infallible."

"It's not that I ever stopped loving Suoh. Sesshoumaru-sama was more generous than I could have asked. I was the one that chose my husband," Rin murmured, smoothing kimono over her front. "And that makes my actions all the more dishonorable."

"Then why did you do it?" asked Kagome.

Rin frowned. "I could give a dozen answers. That Suoh was always busy or that Shippo was the only kind face in the castle while so many were consumed with hating humans. But they're all excuses. I was being selfish. That's all."

"Realizing your mistake is more than most people manage," the priestess said.

"I know, but there are some moments that I do not regret. That I will never regret, even though I should." Rin took a breath. "Do you believe that it's possible to love two men at once, Kagome-sama?"

"Yes." The answer was immediate, surprising even the miko.

Her companion glanced at her and fell silent for a few seconds. "Who was the other one?" Rin whispered.

"My husband," replied Kagome, equally quiet.

If the younger woman was shocked, she didn't show it. "I'm sorry, Kagome-sama," she murmured. "I didn't know."

Kagome tried to plaster a smile on her face. "It's fine. It was a long time ago," she said, consciously forcing herself not to touch the place where her ruby wedding ring lay against her skin, underneath her kimono.

"Does Sesshoumaru-sama..."

"Like I said before," interrupted the miko, "he doesn't discuss his feelings with me. I give him the same consideration."

Rin gave a resigned sigh, and Kagome knew that the other woman understood - who would know better about dealing with cold exterior of the taiyoukai, after all? "How is Shippo?" she asked instead, a few moments later.

"Safe," replied Kagome, trying to relax again. "He's out in the American West, keeping a low profile as a ranch hand."

"A cowboy," Rin murmured, the foreign word coming out slowly. "He told me those stories. He said that you told him all about the wild west when he was young, and he wanted nothing more than to see if they were true." The concern filtered back into her eyes. "Is he happy, Kagome-sama?"

"I believe so," said the miko, covering Rin's hand with her own. "It took him awhile, but he's back to his old self."

"I worry all the time that I ruined his life," said the young woman.

Kagome shook her head. "The both of you chose a path you knew was dangerous. It was a change for him to leave Japan. Not good or bad - just different. Stop putting all this guilt on yourself."

"I could bear even Sesshoumaru-sama's disapproval if the punishments only came down on my shoulders. But Shippo suffered the most for my sake." She let a long breath and met Kagome's eyes. "I don't suppose there's any chance that he'll ever be permitted to come back?"

The miko wondered where the sunny little girl in the checkered kimono had gone. Then again, the last few centuries hadn't been easy on any of them - she shouldn't have expected Rin to remain unchanged. "No," she said. "I tried, Rin-chan, but Sesshoumaru said that he couldn't manage it, even if he wanted to."

"Which he doesn't," Rin interjected.

Kagome shrugged. "They're not on friendly terms with each other. It was for good reason that Shippo left for America when I decided to rejoin Sesshoumaru," she said. "But because of the Western Lands losing its physical presence, Sesshoumaru's remaining subjects are scattering. He couldn't possibly be assured of telling all of them that Shippo wasn't to be killed on sight. I'd rather have him exiled forever than accidentally executed."

Rin swallowed thickly and nodded as she looked out over the lake. "I don't think this would the best time to return anyway," she murmured.

"No kidding," sighed the miko, following Rin's gaze. The town seemed so peaceful today, but like the rest of Japan, its people churned with unrest. The Shogun's ancestral line had branched off from the samurai that ruled this area, but the present leader supported the emperor. It was a mess of a situation, and the allegiances were divided amongst neighbors and families. Last week, a shopkeeper had been beaten half to death in a street fight.

"What's going to happen?"

Kagome bit her lip - she and Sesshoumaru had agreed a long time ago that details about the future were to be closely guarded. But Rin's concerns stemmed from concern for her family and her friends instead of the desire to use the knowledge for her own purposes, and so, Kagome easily gave in. "The shogunate is on its last legs," she said softly. "The emperor will take power, and Japan will be united under him."

Rin frowned - she had never been in a Japan without a shogun and the feudal system that he operated. But that was not the most pressing concern. "Will he stop the Black Ships?" she asked.

The miko hesitated. The Black Ships had stood as the symbol of the turbulent politics of the past few decades - when foreigners arrived from the West and began making aggressive demands on Japan, the shogunate had shut down the borders. They had unknowingly protected youkai from the full strength of the Order, whose members had been trickling in with trading ships for years. But the West had continued their aggression, threatening full war with their superior weaponry if the shogunate didn't concede to opening the borders again. The entire country had rumbled with violence - loyalties fractured, the uncontrolled trade made the economy go into a tailspin, thousands starved and many more died of the foreign-born cholera.

But for all of that evil, the Black Ships were also a mark of the future - the Japan that Kagome knew was barreling down on them. "No," she answered at last. "They'll come for a long time yet."

"No wonder Sesshoumaru-sama wants us to leave," sighed Rin, covering her eyes.

"He knew that it was coming. He's been preparing for this for years," Kagome said. "Humans barely believe in demons anymore. How could they be expected to respect the Western Lands' power?"

"I just never thought that he'd give in," whispered the young woman, the childish faith that she had in him creeping into her voice.

The miko shook her head. "It's just the physical borders that are gone, Rin-chan. I think he realized that having land means nothing compared to protecting his subjects. To protecting you." She smiled. "He knows what's important, even if he'll never admit it."

It was a cheerful picture of the truth. Sesshoumaru had been taking the West apart, piece by piece, for decades - she had been surprised that he had started even before they met again in Moscow. Kagome knew that he had considered fighting the bleak future that she had painted for him. But, in the end, they had agreed that it would only be railing against the inevitable. The youkai under his protection had seen it, too - they faded away, into simpler lives disguised as humans and to other lands. The death of the feudal system and Japan's new place on the world stage had crushed the old life. Youkai couldn't hide in plain sight anymore - not when the black, hulking ships from America and Europe arrived daily with new, scientific ideas and rigid beliefs about what should be done to demons and the old ways.

Kagome still mourned the passing of the Western Lands, and she knew that Sesshoumaru did too, in his own way. He came to her bed far more often these days and grasped her more desperately than he had since Ireland. It was one thing to warn someone of what was to come - it was another to survive it.

Outwardly, however, the miko remained firmly optimistic. "Come on," she said, standing up and holding her hand out to the pregnant woman. "Let's go order something for the guys to eat, so that it's ready when they get back."

"Do you think it will be so soon as that?" asked Rin, glancing up at the sun that was still arcing over the tops of their heads.

Kagome smiled. "I think that Inuyasha will come racing back for food." She paused as her grin turned cat-like. "And to get away from Sesshoumaru."

Rin laughed - a familiar sound that the miko hadn't heard enough of in the past weeks. "And if they don't, I'm sure we'll manage," she said, patting her tummy. "I eat everything in sight these days."

They waved to Kikyo, who was still in the middle of her botany lesson, as they strolled across the field. The children sat in rapt attention around her - the elder miko had a talent for storytelling and instruction. Although Kagome remembered her as stoic and rigid, she realized that Kikyo's ability was innate - she had reasserted herself from the shadow of a woman that she had been upon her resurrection. Time had still taken its toll on her - there was a brittleness in her otherwise unchanged face that belied her sufferings - but Kagome could see the vibrancy of the miko that Inuyasha had first known.

Then again, it was possible that her softer feelings towards her one-time romantic rival stemmed from the cold realization that they were so much more alike than ever.

"It's still difficult to imagine leaving the Western Lands after all this time," murmured Rin, who was drifting into her own reverie.

"You'll have your mate, not to mention Inuyasha and his family," Kagome said. "You'll be taking the important parts of home with you."

"That's true," said her companion, still looking as if she wanted to fall to the ground and hug the earth itself. "I just can't see myself loving any place as much as I love this one."

On a beautiful, peaceful day such as this, Kagome could agree. Their path was taking them to the small, delicate inn on the edge of town - the same sort of place she had stayed a hundred times when Miroku conned their way into a pair of rooms with tales of a dark aura. Inside, she would have a delicious meal, handmade by the wife of the innkeeper and the one servant. Kikyo and the children would come in, and they would reminisce until the men arrived. The players might have changed, but it still warmed Kagome's heart. It was easy to forget how many awful battles and heartbreaking moments she had suffered in Japan - it was still her childhood home.

But just as she was about to voice these thoughts, something dark and angry pierced at her mind. Rin was suddenly shaking her arm. "Kagome-sama? Kagome-sama!"

She sucked in a few, deep breaths, cooling her lungs. "It didn't hurt. It was just a bit startling," said the miko. "I'm fine."

"No, you are not," said the younger woman, sounding as insistent as Sesshoumaru. "What's wrong?"

Kagome straightened up, blinking at the inn just up the path. "I'm not sure," she murmured. "It felt like..."

"The shape-shifters?" interrupted Rin, curling a protective arm around her stomach.

"Definitely not," she said. "It felt like a warning from something almost as powerful though. But that's impossible." The last part she murmured, almost to herself, as she began walking again.

"Why? Why is it impossible?" pressed her companion.

Kagome let out a short, humorless laugh. "Because there's nothing that powerful left alive anymore," she said. "And even if there was, I would have sensed it a long time ago. So would Kikyo."

Rin glanced back. "Kikyo-sama is getting up and starting to come this way," she observed.

She looked back at the lake shore and noticed the other miko's firm gait - there was concern in her stride, but not enough to run. The pulse that had so startled her had faded into nothing. "Go and join her," replied Kagome. She sent a reassuring glance towards the younger woman to quell any protest. "I'll be more than fine, unless something happens to you and the baby. Then, Sesshoumaru will be the one to kill me."

Only the protection of her child could have driven the younger woman back. "Be careful," cautioned Rin.

The miko nodded and began to mount the steps when the innkeeper's wife slid open the door. "Oh, Kagome-sama," she said, looking a bit harried. "Your guests are here. I was just about to show them to the front room when I heard your voice."

Kagome looked over the old woman's shoulder to see an unwelcome, but familiar face - even with a concealment spell woven well enough to hide her red hair under the guise of the straight, black locks of a Japanese woman, Kagome would have recognized the glare of Gisela, Countess von Triberg-Todtnau anywhere. She'd been wrong in what she said to Rin. There was someone who was powerful enough to radiate the power she had felt moments ago - she had just hoped it wasn't the countess.

Keeping the calmest expression she could muster, Kagome looked back at the innkeeper's wife. "Thank you," she said with a small bow. "We'll call you if we need anything, but I'd prefer if we weren't disturbed otherwise."

The gray-haired woman gave her a searching look, but conceded readily enough - she had too much work to worry about her slightly odd guests. She disappeared around the back of the inn while Kagome shed her shoes. "Shall we?" she said to Gisela, gesturing to the room that was meant for receiving guests. She spoke in German, just in case anyone had their ears pressed to the walls.

"Is that girl pregnant with a half-demon?" asked the countess, looking over Kagome's head instead of giving any proper greeting.

Kagome glanced behind her to see Rin retreating towards Kikyo. "Yes," she said, bristling a bit. "That's Sesshoumaru's ward."

Gisela's lip curled. "Of course. A human girl," she said, before sweeping past and revealing that two youkai had been hovering in the shadows of the hallway.

The miko had to smile at the other face that she recognized, despite the ever growing feeling that this would be a trying afternoon. "Brandt," she greeted. "It's good to see you. I've been worried about you since Moscow."

The fire demon snorted, looking no less contemptuous in his own heavy disguise. "You think you humans could really hurt me?"

Kagome tried not to let her smile broaden as she followed them into the receiving room. "No, I guess not," she said. "But I did wonder when you didn't show..."

"Where is your husband?" interrupted Gisela as soon as the door closed.

The miko now understood what that pulse of power had been. The innkeeper's wife had undoubtedly used that word to describe Sesshoumaru while trying to make them comfortable. It hadn't been a warning - it had been uncontrolled anger slicing through the concealment spell that so effectively cloaked them in anonymity, including from a powerful pair of miko. Even now, in the same room as the three youkai, Kagome could only detect traces of their demonic auras. "Sesshoumaru is returning shortly," she replied. "I don't suppose you'd care to tell me why you've come such a long way?"

"It's none of your concern," said the countess with a sniff, "so no, I don't care to tell you anything."

The petty jealousy was already wearing thing. Not even when Sesshoumaru himself treated her as a servant did Gisela take such a dismissive view of her. She had been almost kind at their last encounter. Fortunately, Kagome decided, she was not required to wait upon the countess this time. "You know, if you'd prefer, I'll leave all of you on your own to wait. I don't see us accomplishing anything here, after all."

"Fine," replied Gisela. She glanced at Brandt and said, "I'm not sure we should even bother waiting, though."

"After this trip?" Brandt asked as Kagome hesitated by the door.

"He's taken a human wife," scoffed the countess. "What should he care what I have to say?"

Kagome sent up a silent prayer for patience before she turned back. "He's not my husband," she conceded. "People just assume that when we travel together. And it makes things easier when we don't correct them."

"I'm sure that's the reason you tell yourselves," Brandt said with a lecherous grin.

Gisela ignored her cousin. "You reek of him," she hissed at the miko.

"I didn't say that I didn't," replied Kagome with a frown. "But I don't see how that is any of your business."

Brandt snorted again, this time with smothered laughter instead of derision. "Not completely, anyway," he said as he glanced to his right - not at the countess, but the quiet girl that stood between them. Kagome finally studied the third fourth occupant of the room. Willowy and pale, she couldn't have been more than twelve in human age, although she was also wearing a concealment spell. But even the powerful disguise could not hide the heart-shaped face, high cheekbones and rounded nose that she shared with the countess.

She could feel her heart begin to beat faster, strumming harshly against her ribs. "This is your daughter?" she murmured.

The countess lifted her chin. "Of course."

Kagome took a step backwards. She didn't want to know, but the question slipped out anyway. "What's her name?"

"Adele." Her eyes narrowed as she swept her hand towards the miko and turned to address the girl. "Adele, this is the human priestess that your father travels with."

The entire world seemed to sway beneath her, challenging the miko to stay on her feet as she lost her breath. She tried to suck the air back into her lungs, but her chest constricted as her palms became slick with sweat. It was a terrifying sensation, as if she was drowning on dry land.

But when she reached back, searching for the door, it was not her panic that moved the walls. Sesshoumaru was suddenly standing behind her, glowing with pure fury. He was breathing rapidly as well - his brow actually glittered with beads of sweat. Kagome froze and stared at him as his concealment spell flickered, revealing flashes of white hair and lengthening claws. His blood red eyes remained fixed on Gisela as he stepped into the room.

No one said anything for a full, eternal minute.

"What," he began in the most dangerous of whispers, "is the meaning of this insult?"

It took a second for even the countess to recover herself from the weight of Sesshoumaru's glare, but she soon drew herself up with an indignant look of her own. "'Insult'?" she echoed. "I would think that you would be pleased to see some of your equals for once, Sesshoumaru."

The taiyoukai did not move - he didn't seem to listen to her at all. "Explain yourself," he ordered. His eyes flickered over to Adele. "Explain her."

Brandt made the mistake of believing the danger had passed and let his presence be known by taking steps towards the low table in the center of the room. "Don't you think we should sit down? This is bound to be a long conversation."

Kagome curled into herself as Sesshoumaru's eyes flashed. She now remembered all the snide comments Brandt had made about fathers and children. She hadn't seen it then, but she should have. Brandt's harsh words usually had truth at the core.

"You knew in Moscow," he growled at the fire demon. "You knew in Moscow, you said nothing, and now, you expect me to listen to some fiction from you?" He bared his teeth. "I expect a full and truthful explanation from the countess and the countess alone. I expect you to leave immediately."

He stiffened, his hand falling onto the hilt of the katana he wore at his hip. "Hell no."

"I ordered him not to tell you," Gisela spoke up. "Did you really want him to tell you in the middle of a revolution? In the middle of a burning city?"

"So you kept it from me for another half century," Sesshoumaru said, turning on her. "I do not care what your excuses are. If he doesn't want to be strangled to death with his own intestines, I suggest that you send him out of this room."

"What about her?" the countess asked, a spiteful glance thrown at Kagome.

The miko began to backpedal towards the hallway, desperate to get out and to someplace that had air. Her stomach was roiling. But Sesshoumaru's eyes were now fixed on her, as if just realizing that she was still standing four feet behind him. "She stays," he ground out, and she stopped with her fingers on the door frame. He had already turned his attention back on the countess and - Kagome had to force herself to think the word - their daughter. He spoke with the measured words that Kagome recognized as his attempt to hold onto his temper. "Good fortune for you, considering that she will probably not want me to do any permanent damage to you, despite your treatment of her."

Gisela paled but soon nodded discreetly at Brandt, who withdrew through the door farthest from Sesshoumaru. "What was I supposed to do?" she asked. She had lost her bravado in the face of his rage. "You left us after dropping us off in South America. We didn't know where you'd gone until Moscow. Adele was almost a century old by then. You abandoned us."

"I didn't know I had anything to abandon!" thundered the taiyoukai.

Everything fell silent again. Kagome felt that she was trembling - not from fear of Sesshoumaru, of course, but fear of what she was witnessing. She and the dog demon had received into more than their fair share of bad luck; they had been blessed with a few, shining moments that she would never surrender. But this was unique. It was an heir. As angry as Sesshoumaru was, Kagome knew that he had not missed the very important fact that this young girl that was still shrouded in the disguise of a human was, in fact, one of the youngest, pure demons in the world. New blood and powerful, if her parents were any indication. Such a thing could not be ignored.

What a cosmic joke, she reflected, to give Sesshoumaru an heir on the same day that he had lost his kingdom.

When he spoke again, it was almost his normal tone. "How did you find us?"

"I heard about what you were dismantling the Western Lands," Gisela said.

Kagome held her breath as Sesshoumaru frowned. "And so, you decided to reveal this to me at a moment you thought me weak?" he challenged quietly. "I assure you that that is not the case."

"I am aware of that," the countess said. "You are still worthy of the title you have."

The dog demon didn't appear mollified by the bit of half-hearted flattery. "Then, why now?"

"As much as I would like to deny it, the Order has the power. It is always possible that something might happen to me," said the countess, her eyes glittering. "I do not want my child to be one orphan among the many your brother has charge of."

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. "That is not the entire reason," he said.

Gisela drew herself up. "I would not..."

"I asked."

Everyone looked at Adele. It was the first time the girl had spoken since Kagome had arrived, and although Adele didn't seem to possess the same, unending confidence that her parents had, her voice was strong. Kagome could feel the anger and curiosity warring with Sesshoumaru without even looking at him. She wondered what Adele thought of Sesshoumaru in turn - she had grown up with Brandt at her ear, after all. The countess probably had few kind words to say, for that matter.

Sesshoumaru took a few steps towards his daughter. "And what do you expect?"

"I just wanted to know who you were," Adele said, her voice softening slightly. "And, maybe, you want to know something about me?"

The taiyoukai sent a swift glare towards Gisela. "Undoubtedly."

"Don't punish our daughter for my decisions," returned the countess. "We can discuss more of your disappointment in my handling of this matter later. Is it so difficult to do what she asks?"

Sesshoumaru sniffed. "No." He looked at the girl. "You may ask your questions, and you will answer mine."

He was giving in easily, Kagome thought as she watched the three youkai - the family, no matter what the circumstances - stand together at the other end of the room. Sensation was beginning to return to her limbs, and she was again gripped by the need to escape this room with the walls that continued to close in around her.

"May I drop my concealment spell, Mother?" Adele was asking. She glanced at Kagome. "Even though there's a human here," she added in a whisper.

Gisela took a breath. "I suppose so," she replied.

"Actually," Kagome jumped in shakily, "I am going to be leaving. I think that would be, well, wise. So I'll just go." She edged towards the door.

"It is not necessary," Sesshoumaru said, studying her for the first time since coming inside.

The anger had fallen away from his expression just enough for her to see that he wanted her to stay. Even to the great demon lord, facing a previously unknown, adolescent daughter seemed to be a battle not faced alone. But she couldn't. Her throat was closing again. "I... I'll be outside," she murmured.

She turned to the door, her hands slipping on the wooden frame. Sesshoumaru's long fingers darted in front of her and slid it open. "Just outside," he said, his voice close to her ear.

She wished he had stayed on the other side of the room. "You'd know if I went any further," Kagome pointed out, unable to meet his eyes again. She would stay if she did, even if it destroyed her.

Before he could say anything else, the miko stepped through the hallway and out onto the porch, closing that door behind her as gently as she could. Inuyasha was standing closest, his shoulders tense and his hands curled into fists. "Kagome?" he asked. The lines around his eyes - the most obvious sign of his approaching middle age - deepened as he frowned at her. "Are you alright?"

"No," she replied flatly, moving across the porch and down the steps. She paused in front of Kikyo - the only one that could truly understand - as she stood in the midst of the orphaned children that she raised with Inuyasha. "I need to think on my own for a bit," she said to the elder miko.

"Of course," murmured Kikyo.

Kagome continued walking, past an anxious Rin and her grave mate, Suoh, and down towards the lake again. She continued beyond the tree under which she and Rin had sat just a short time ago. Only when her calves began to burn and the sky began to darken did she stop, dropping down on the cool, rough grass. She could only see pinpricks of light from the village from her place on the sloping base of the mountain range that separated the town from the sea. Just as it had been that afternoon, it was lovely.

And that was where she wept.

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The stars were out when she felt the ground tremble with approaching footsteps. "Kagome?"

She opened her eyes, wishing that she could wash the dried, salty drops off of her skin. "Hi, Inuyasha," she said, sitting up and rubbing at her cheeks. "I wasn't asleep."

"Yeah, you were," he muttered as he tucked his hands into his sleeves. He didn't wear the fire rat robe anymore, but a muted blue of the same design. The fire rat, he had told her before, was tucked away somewhere safe. She missed it, just as she missed the white, soft ears that were hidden beneath yet another concealment spell. Everything she remembered had faded away, just when she wanted to wrap herself in nostalgia and forget this entire day.

"Not well enough to mind that you interrupted, then," she said. "Did Kikyo send you to make sure I wasn't doing something stupid?"

"No." He frowned. "I was worried about you, so I came looking."

Kagome gave him a faint smile. He had changed so much since they had traveled Japan looking for Jewel shards - the old Inuyasha would never have admitted that he was the one that was concerned. She would have said so, but then noticed another figure lingering in the low light. "Brandt? Is that you skulking in the shadows again?" she asked, before looking back at Inuyasha. "What is he doing here?"

The hanyou rolled his eyes. "Hell if I know. He followed me."

"Gisela sent me to spy on you," said Brandt in a bored tone as he came closer.

Kagome sent the deadliest glare she could manage with tear tracks still staining her face. "Then, shouldn't you be somewhere else? Out of sight, at least? I'm not going to give you anything really good to take back with you when you're three feet in front of me."

The fire demon snorted. "If the countess wants to go around eavesdropping on your weepy conversations about the Sesshoumaru, she can climb around on the mountainside in the dark herself. I'm not going to do it." He sat down in front of her and leaned back on his elbows to turn his face up to the night sky.

Inuyasha and Kagome exchanged a look. "Why does Gisela want you to spy on me?" asked the miko. "There can't be much she doesn't already know."

"She's probably hoping that you're secretly planning the mass murder of every remaining demon in Japan," said Brandt. "She wasn't that fond of you before..."

"I figured that part out myself," muttered Kagome.

"Now, she's gone off the deep end," continued the fire demon. "I'm not going to be the instrument of her idiotic jealousy just because she thinks that she gave birth to the savior of demon kind with the guy you happen to be screwing. I might not like you either, but I know you're not plotting our destruction. And Sesshoumaru probably isn't going to be willing to make any extra, baby saviors."

"Good to hear," said the miko flatly.

"Far as I see it," Brandt said, "you've both lost out on this one."

Inuyasha growled. "And how do you figure that?"

Brandt rolled onto his side and fixed them both with a serious stare. "I think we all know that my cousin is going to have a hard time working her way back into Sesshoumaru's good graces. It'll be near impossible to get back into his bed, especially with this one around." He turned his attention entirely to Kagome. "And the little miko knows that the only reason the dog demon does come to her bed is because she can't give him any brats with diluted blood."

The hanyou got to his feet. "Take that back, you asshole!" he snarled.

Kagome gripped the fabric of his pants in her hand, despite the lump that had risen in her throat at Brandt's declaration. "Inuyasha," she said, "it's fine."

"No, it isn't!"

She gave a small, sad laugh. "It's not like you're crazy about the idea of me sleeping with Sesshoumaru either. You don't have to defend it." She shrugged. "Besides, he's right. You know that your brother would never sleep with a human that could actually give him a child."

The hanyou crouched beside her, ignoring Brandt for the moment. "I'm not going to let him mock you for this," he said fiercely.

"I'm used to him being a jerk," she said. "That's just him. Believe me - fighting it is pointless."

"Very true," Brandt said, grinning at them. "But could you be so unaffected as that, miko? You might be more like a demon than I thought. You don't seem to care that Adele exists at all."

Kagome set her expression in stone - Brandt would tell Gisela all that he had seen and heard here. She didn't have any doubts about that. "I care. But if you were expecting me to be angry about Sesshoumaru sleeping with Gisela, you're a bit late. I suspected that since the first time I met her. What I didn't expect was anything - anyone - to come of it."

"Ah. Because you're barren, you assumed Sesshoumaru wasn't exactly functioning in that area either? That would be quite the shock."

It wasn't, really - not when she thought on it. She had always assumed that the source of her infertility could be explained by the curse of her immortality - if her body refused to age, to scar or to grow ill, it was no surprise that it would refuse the hardship of a pregnancy. Sesshoumaru's contribution didn't require anything quite so long-term. She just wished he'd been a bit more prudent.

Inuyasha took her silence as a sign of shock. "Could you be any more disgusting?" he spat.

"I could try," Brandt said with a leer in the miko's direction.

Anger welled up within her. And although she knew that she should remain silent, Kagome countered, "At least I'm more than an errand boy lusting after scraps of affection."

Brandt went still, as if an arrow had buried itself into his ribs. And then, he was chuckling.

"What the hell is so funny?" Inuyasha demanded.

"It just occurred to me," Brandt said, still smiling despite the vindictive gleam in his eye. "A miko that has almost everything - wealth, immortality, a pretty boy in the sack, friends that foolishly jump to her defense - is complaining about the one thing she can't have. She doesn't have a little brat that would probably only die at the hands of the Order or one of those shape-shifters, and it might as well be the end of the world. Selfish, don't you think? I wonder if that soul is so pure these days."

Inuyasha looked ready to tear the fire demon limb from limb, but Kagome stood and put a hand on his shoulder. "You can't possibly understand," she said to Brandt.

"I understand," said the youkai, turning icy. "You think that just because you and the half-breed's undead miko can't squeeze out the kiddies that you have some sort of monopoly on suffering?"

Kagome's grip tightened as Inuyasha turned a furious shade of red. "How did you," he began.

"Please," interrupted Brandt. "All those little orphans down there, but not a single mongrel that shares your blood? It wasn't so hard to figure out why you're coddling the little miko there."

"Don't antagonize him, Brandt," Kagome said with a frown. She could feel the hanyou trembling from rage beneath her touch. "I don't want to fight."

The fire demon scoffed and got to his feet. "Yeah, well, I've heard all that I could stand from you two anyway," he shot back. "You could have given me some tears or something. You've gotten as boring as any other worthless human, Kagome."

They watched Brandt stalk away as Inuyasha's breathing eventually evened out. "How can you stand that guy?" he growled softly. "If you weren't here to stop me, I would have taken his head off."

"Like I said, that's just the way he is." She peered after Brandt, although the fire demon had already disappeared into the dark. "I shouldn't have said that about him being an errand boy. I deeply hurt his feelings."

"He doesn't have feelings!" protested Inuyasha.

"Of course he does," the miko replied. "I was cruel, and he lashed out. You and I can't have children, but imagine having to help raise the child of the union between a man you hate and the woman you love."

The hanyou paused. "He's in love with the countess?"

"I've always suspected it. I mean, he's not exactly personable, but Brandt has always seemed to hold a special sort of resentment for Sesshoumaru." She shook her head, suppressing a hysterical, little laugh. "I think he envies us."

"Well, he shouldn't," huffed Inuyasha.

"Another person's life can always look better than yours from afar," Kagome said. "And he's right. We do have a lot that people would kill for."

"So, you're agreeing with him?"

Kagome shook her head. "Of course not. He has no right to judge us on what he thinks should make us happy. He shouldn't have dragged you and Kikyo into it at all," she said. "Giving him a taste of his own medicine is exactly what he wanted though. Insulting and fighting people is the way he copes with things."

Inuyasha huffed softly. "You were still a lot calmer than I was," he said.

"Actually, I feel like my insides have been ripped out of my body," Kagome replied. She closed her eyes for a moment, mentally touching the chasm her heart had left behind. "It's not calm. It's just like pain has eaten away at everything else instead."

For a moment, it looked like the hanyou would pull her into a hug, but something pulled his attention to the dark slope instead. "Can you handle talking to him like that?" he asked after a moment. "The bastard is on his way up here. I'll stay, if you want me to."

She gave him a small smile, despite the way her breath caught. "Thanks, Inuyasha, but I'm good."

"I doubt that."

Kagome bit her lip as the faint outline of Sesshoumaru appeared in the distance. "Well, I think it's best if this is a conversation that would go better in private."

The hanyou made a soft sound of disagreement, but said, "Fine. I'm going to make it perfectly clear what'll happen to him if he does anything stupid though."

"Inuyasha," Kagome protested, reaching out to grab him again. But the half-demon had slipped away, down the hillside, to meet his elder sibling. Sesshoumaru's concealment spell had been put back into place, and she could see the light shining off of the brothers' hair as they spoke, but any words or expressions were lost to her human senses. She had to take heart in the fact that there were no glowing clouds of poison or flashing of coal-red eyes. And when the conversation ended after about two minutes, Inuyasha seemed to walk away under his own power.

And suddenly, the taiyoukai was in front of her, staring down at her.

"Hi," she managed.

"You were not 'just outside', as you promised," he said.

Kagome shrugged - she certainly wasn't planning on apologizing for that. "Were you talking to Adele and Gisela for all this time?" she asked instead.

"To Adele, yes," Sesshoumaru replied. "I requested that the countess leave soon after you excused yourself."

She knew he was baiting her - he wanted her to ask why he had done such a thing. But again, she refused him. "What is your daughter like?" Her voice hardly hitched on the dreaded word.

The corners of the taiyoukai's mouth turned down, but he answered, "She is soft-spoken and intelligent, but her education is uneven. She is not sufficiently fluent in Japanese, and her fighting abilities are almost nonexistent." He looked away, taking a moment to clear the anger from his tone. "As it might be expected, she harbors some of the prejudices of the countess and her cousin."

"You mean, she hates humans," Kagome said.

"Her distrust and fear is an obstacle instead of an asset for a world that has far more humans than youkai," Sesshoumaru said. "You are aware that such biases are correctable."

Their eyes met, and the miko wondered if she did know that. "Does she look like you?" she asked.

The dog demon didn't reply for so long that she thought he might forget the question. Finally, he said, "She could be the copy of any full-blooded member of my family. She bears the crescent mark I inherited from my mother."

"A true heir," Kagome murmured. "You must be pleased."

"Her potential intrigues me," he said, "but she is a stranger and not my heir. There is nothing to inherit."

The miko gave a weary sigh. "I don't think that's what she's really interested in, Sesshoumaru. She wants a father in her life. Most little girls do." She glanced up at him. "Is she staying for awhile so that you can talk more?"

Sesshoumaru arched an eyebrow. "You believe that I should further my relationship with her?" he asked.

"I know that I would give anything to talk to my father again. To get to know him better," Kagome said softly. "And you can't cast off the responsibilities you have towards her. She's your daughter, even if you didn't know about her until today."

"I am aware of that," he said with a touch of acid. "I will do what is required to protect her, and I will not deny her anything that is within my power to give. But I took no part in her upbringing. While she is physically my copy, she possesses little that marks her as mine. Brandt has acted as her father, and despite her curiosity in her familial history, I do not believe that she is looking for any sort of replacement in that respect."

"So, you aren't going to take the countess as your mate?" she asked, wondering if Brandt had been right.

He scoffed. "She has proven her unworthiness, although I am sure that she hoped for a different decision." He paused and met Kagome's gaze. "I decided some time ago that there is no point to a political union when we have few politics to unite any longer. It is a strange coincidence that I seemed to have come to that conclusion just after she became pregnant."

"Tortuga," guessed Kagome.

"No," he said, surprising her. "Before that. She must have been already carrying the child when we met you, because I did not sleep with her after that." He shifted his eyes away from hers.

"You didn't have to tell me that," she murmured. "It's really none of my business."

"But you wished to know," he answered. "It matters to you."

She couldn't deny him this. "Yes," she said. "It matters, even if it shouldn't."

"Why should it not?"

"Well, we're just having some fun, aren't we?" She cursed the way her voice cracked. "I mean, this is just what tends to happen in situations like ours."

Sesshoumaru studied her. "There are no other situations like ours," he observed.

She ducked her head. They never spoke of the unique circumstances of their relationship - now, it was more embarrassing to mention it with him than anyone else. "True. But our... our arrangement doesn't give me the right to put demands on you. I couldn't have said anything if you did want to return to her. She has your daughter. I don't. And I never will."

"Is that what upsets you so greatly?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. "I never wanted her to give me a child. I never wanted one at all."

The heart she had sworn had been scooped out of her chest returned with a crippling twist of pain. "Precisely," Kagome said, her eyes filling with tears again. "And I was perfect for that. But I didn't mind. As long as it was just us, I didn't mind that I couldn't have a baby. But now, you have Adele, and no matter what you say, she is your daughter."

"You are jealous of the girl?" he asked with a frown.

"No. Maybe." She turned away and pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes. "I was fine when you were just sleeping with the countess. But in what way is this fair, Sesshoumaru? You don't even want children, and yet, you get one? She gives you this perfect, pure-blooded demon that you are always beholden to?"

Kagome stopped to take a breath as Sesshoumaru stood silently with his face in shadow. "But I guess that I'm being selfish," she murmured, "when I should be happy for you."

"Your moments of selfishness are rare," said the dog demon. "I cannot fault you for it."

She let out a little laugh that sounded more like a sob. "I didn't even ask if you think Adele inherited your immortality."

"No. She is pure-blooded, and she will age and die as any pure-blooded demon does," he replied. "But I do not see why that should matter at the moment."

"Because she'll die someday, and you probably won't." Kagome sighed, knowing that the thought had occurred to him the moment he had seen Adele. "Your daughter will die before you, and I'm consumed by jealousy anyway. Brandt was right about me."

"Whatever he said, he was incorrect," said the dog demon, his lip lifting in a sneer.

"Well, I'm not so sure about that," she murmured, lifting her hands to her face. A headache was blooming at a point above her left eyebrow.

Sesshoumaru seemed to have attained that rare realization that a man should not ask a plainly troubled woman if she was alright, but she almost wished that he would anyway. She desperately wanted to yell at him - to expel some of the twist of emotions that was coiled within her mind. If she were honest with herself, she didn't know exactly what she was feeling. She did, however, want not to feel it anymore. She was starting to grow nauseous.

"You should come back to the inn for some rest," Sesshoumaru said at last.

She rubbed at the second set of tear stains on her cheeks. "I look that bad?"

"No, but your mood often improves after a warm bath and some sleep," he said, turning to walk down the hill.

Kagome followed, deciding that she couldn't yell at him now - not while he behaving and suggesting such glorious things as baths. She supposed that he didn't deserve it anyway. "How long is the countess staying?" she asked.

"A few days," Sesshoumaru replied, "although our conversations will be kept to a minimum. I agreed to give Adele the information she seeks for now. Anything more, and we will discuss it."

"'We'?"

"You and I," he clarified, glancing down at her. "I did not know about her. I would not have concealed her presence."

Kagome felt a tendril of hope curl within her. "I know. She is your daughter though. You'll want to see her, and that's fine. We'll adjust."

"I will not make these decisions unilaterally when it impacts you as well," Sesshoumaru said.

"You're being awfully nice. I really must look that bad," she said.

The taiyoukai frowned. "When you were married to the human in Calais, I asked him why you had no children."

Kagome took a moment to register the rapid subject change. "What did Bastien say?"

"He said that it was the only source of pain you had in your lives," Sesshoumaru murmured. "He asked me to never mention your inability to have children, because it pained you. I agreed, and I upheld that promise, because I could see that he was correct. But I made an error when we began our own arrangement. I did not make it clear that your infertility was not a matter of any importance."

The strumming pain returned to her heart. "I know," she began.

"You misunderstand," he interrupted. "I would not have cared either way. If you were capable of having children, it would not have altered my actions."

She gaped for only a moment before reaching for him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She should be kissing him, she knew, for such an admission, but her eyes were wet yet again. Kagome could only bury her head against his chest until the tears ebbed. "How did you know just what I needed to hear?" she said, her voice muffled by his clothing.

His claws touched the back of her neck and slid up into her hair. "Simple observation," he said. "You are far too emotional over something that never came to be."

"Haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'it's the thought that counts'?" she asked.

"Not until this moment," he said.

Kagome pulled back and brushed her fingers over the small stain she'd left on his black kimono. "Well, thank you for always thinking of me," she murmured, knowing that the sentiment fell entirely short of what she wanted to say. The weariness in his eyes stopped her though - there were still long, frustrating days ahead, and she refused to complicate it for him. Her own chest still held its throbbing pain. It would be some time before he settled into bed with her again - it would be some time before she wanted him to. He had new wounds. She had old ones that had to heal over once more.

Her hand slipped down to take his. "Come on. Let's get back before dawn."